There is a bumper sticker that says "Change
is the only constant." It's amazing how simple truths fit so
easily into bumper stickers, but not so easily into our lives.
Just ask a new mother during the first year of her child's
life, or a college student having to rearrange work and school
every three months, about change. Change is not easy, but it
does come, sometimes often and unexpectedly.
Having the ability to recover from or
adjust easily to misfortune or change comes in extraordinarily
handy. In a world where change is the constant, resiliency has
an advantage; resilient people are success stories. Realizing
that not everyone is naturally resilient, let's look at some
of the characteristics of resilient people:
1) Resilient people put things in
perspective. They are not lost in their own world. They have
learned how to step aside and see things from another
angle.
2) Resilient people are always exploring
their options. If one door closes, they look for another door
or a window. They even create them when needed!
3) Resilient people have excellent
problem-solving skills. They can brainstorm and negotiate with
the best! They are critical thinkers and will exhaust all of
their resources if necessary.
4) Resilient people know to take care of
themselves, physically and emotionally. They understand the
link between the mind and the body. They fuel themselves with
nourishing food, enjoyable exercise and healthy
relationships.
5) Resilient people have the ability to
re-frame their experiences to see the positive side. They are
always looking for the silver lining, the rainbow after the
storm. They ask questions like, "What can I learn from this
experience?"
6) Resilient people use positive self-talk.
They spend time thinking about the new and good, what they
want versus what they do not have. They understand the power
of positive affirmations.
7) Resilient people let go of the past and
do not worry excessively about the future. However, they do
learn from past experiences and plan appropriately for the
future.
8) Resilient people know how and when to
ask for help. They do not try to do everything themselves. Nor
do they expect others to do everything for them. They
understand the benefits of tapping into the strengths of
others. They look for synergies.
9) Resilient people enjoy the moment,
recognizing that life is not a dress rehearsal. They know how
to live in the NOW. They do not put important things off for
another day. They seize life with no regrets.And they have a
sense of humor about it all.
10) And maybe most important of all,
resilient people know what they can and cannot control. They
know the only thing in their control is "me, myself and I".
They can't control their boss, their spouse, children, parents
or their friends. They can't control the economy or the
weather. And they are not overly concerned with how others
view them. However, they know they can control their response
and their attitude in relation to all of these things.
You may be thinking that many of these ten
items sound like clichés; however, clichés exist for a reason.
There always exists some truth. Which of these ten habits or
behavior ring true for you? What can you model in your own
life? Maybe there are a few that you already do, but could
improve upon. Pick two or three with which you can identify
and then for each one think about two or three ways you can
work on improving or incorporating each into your daily life.
Make a promise to yourself to work on this. If you do, you
will find yourself not only surviving, but, like the gumball
machine super ball, bouncing back sooner than expected the
next time you encounter change.
* Thanks to Louann
Beck R.N. for her presentation on change which uses concepts
from William Bridges' books on managing
change.
