"Breath is the bridge which connects life to consciousness, which unites your body to your thoughts." ~ Thich Nhat Hanh

Breathing is something we all do naturally, thus many of us never give it a second thought. As children we aren't taught how to breathe; it just happens. It is taken for granted by most until we encounter a problem, such as asthma or emphysema. Yet, breathing is the only autonomic bodily function which we can also wield control over.  

Think about it. We can all see how our breath is related to our emotional state. Next time you are upset, angry or stressed, pay attention to the rate of your breath. Or the next time you watch a scary movie look closely at the characters breath. Hollywood uses the emotional connection of breath to their advantage. You will notice that the breath is quick, thin, irregular and quite noisy; it adds to the suspense. In the same vein it is near impossible to remain upset after gaining control of your breath.

In our day-to-day modern lives we have somehow forgotten the art of breathing properly. Most Americans do not take full breaths, but practice shallow breathing in the upper region of the chest. Native and eastern traditions have long known the importance of proper breathing and western medicine has begun to take notice. Pioneer of integrative medicine, Dr. Andrew Weil, is one of the leading proponents of breath work, going as far as to say, "Indeed, of all the approaches that I have recommended to people for improving health, the single technique that I get the most positive feedback about is breath work."

The fact is breathing is the only way we can influence our autonomic nervous system (circulation, digestion etc.). Therefore, breath can be a doorway to improve sleep, reduce stress and anxiety, lower blood pressure, manage pain, asthma and hot flashes, increase energy and boost physical performance, all without the use of medication. 

So the next time you are feeling stressed, take a minute to do a few deep abdominal breaths and notice the difference in how you feel. If you would like to learn more about proper breathing try a yoga, Tai Chi or Qigong class or check out a few of the resources listed here: Dr. Andrew Weil's Mindbody Tool Kit or his book Breathing: The Master Key to Self Healing; Dennis Lewis' book Free Your Breath, Free Your Life: How Conscious Breathing Can Relieve Stress, Increase Vitality, and Help You Live More Fully; Gay Hendricks' book The Breathing Box: 4 Weeks To Healthy Breathing; or see info on About.com with it's many resources on breath work exercises.

"At the heart of judging other people is a feeling of being unworthy."  ~ Gary Zukav

Judging others is a way of hiding from our flaws and only serves to disconnect us from others. Temporarily it might make us feel as if we are better than the person we are judging, but letting this behavior become a habit sets us up for failure. People may begin to lose trust, wondering if we are judging them behind their back, or friends may just want to avoid the negative vibes. Constantly judging others, we may begin to feel shame and even hatred towards ourselves.

Unfortunately, as humans, we have a habit of judging those closest to us most harshly. When we do this we are seeing the world the way we want, not the way it is. Lashing out is often a way to avoid feeling the pain of our powerlessness. Yet learning to be less critical and see things as they are opens us up for more compassion with others and for ourselves.

To find peace and quell the judging monster we must do inner work. It takes determination to look at oneself more objectively and with clarity. It can be helpful to go deep inside to find the root of our painful experiences and heal them. Without this inner work the pain and judging will continue to occur. The next time you catch yourself judging someone, stop and ask yourself a few questions to help get to the root of why you are judging. "What about this situation touches a nerve?" "What aspects of myself does this person bring forth?" "Is there a pattern between this situation/person and other times of judgment?"

Another way to work on putting an end to judgmental ways is to cultivate empathy. We can work on putting ourselves in another's shoes. As we work on this, we must be careful not to judge ourselves when we catch ourselves judging others. We need to learn to be gentle with ourselves also. Simply acknowledge that you were judging and make a promise to work on not judging in the future. If this is a behavior pattern you've had for most of your life it will not disappear over night. Like any new skill, retraining your thoughts takes time and persistence. Beating yourself up over being judgmental defeats the purpose of the work you are doing. Consistently reaffirm your desire to end your judgmental thoughts and practice compassion with yourself and others. Do this and you will develop more nourishing thoughts and eventually a happier, more empowered you.

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